That's not appropriate workplace talk is it?

Guinness Book of World Records for most gold worn in a shirt

See this picture? This picture almost got me in a heap of shit at work. I was working at a high school in Castro Valley as a high school Spanish student teacher. Our school pride week was coming up and the teacher I was working under suggested that I wear gold the next day for school pride week. So in my high taste and hilarious sense of humor, I took this graphic of the world record holder for the most gold ever worn by anyone (it’s something like 5 kilos of gold) and photoshopped my face onto this photo and sent it to the teacher I was working under with the caption, “Do you think this is enough gold to show my school pride?”

I thought I was pretty funny until I sent it to my brother who certainly did not think it was funny. “That’s racist!” he said. The dreaded scarlet letter—a racist! Of course once he pointed out my lapse in judgment, I noticed that I hadn’t received any response from my coworker at all. “What if she thinks I’m racist?” I thought. It’s not like there’s a litmus test for this type of thing. Overt forms of racism are pretty easy to identify, but more subtle types of racism are sort of in the eye of the beholder.

I melted with anxiety. That was not my intention in the least bit. I had literally searched up “solid gold shirt” on google and came up with the most gold ever worn by anyone. It was a freaking Guinness Book of World Record title. I basically just wanted the shirt, but I thought it was funny to pretend like I was the world record holder, so that I could express my school pride. I started doubting my own judgment. In today’s modern world, do I not have good judgment? Did I miss the mark here? By how far?

My first reaction was self doubt, anxiety, fear, but then it turned to frustration. I felt stifled. “I’m just expressing myself with my sense of humor,” I thought. “I’m just simply expressing who I am and my own sense of humor and now because two white people (my brother and colleague) are so sensitive that I can’t even be who I am because I have to tip toe around.” I could have found a picture of a white guy wearing a bunch of gold, but he wouldn’t have been a world record holder and it wouldn’t have packed the same punch and on top of it, the only picture I could find of a person that was wearing a bunch of gold was that particular photo, so my choices were either share my sense of humor with her or not share my sense of humor.  What’s at stake felt like sharing who I am. 

I’ve felt really nervous and anxious working in more formal work settings for that reason. It feels like other people just seem to get it a little better than me sometimes. There are these sort of spoken and unspoken rules and the stakes can be very high for not adhering to the rules. You can be ostracized, ridiculed, fired. I even worked with a white lady that her apparent and accidental racism (fueled by her misguided effort to actually be an anti-racist on campus) landed her on CNN at the center of a national story about white people and their deep seeded racism. I’ll have to write about this story at a later date because it’s a doozy! But that’s my worst nightmare!

But it doesn’t seem like a lot of the people that I work with suffer from these stakes. They don’t seem to be nervous about saying the wrong thing to the wrong person and yet the stakes are the same for them as they are for me. However, those same people do seem much more emotionally guarded than I am, but they don’t appear to be so scared or upset about having to be so guarded.  It just seems like something they don’t think about. I wonder if they let their guards down when colleagues aren’t looking though.

As it turned out, my colleague wasn’t offended by the picture and all my doom and gloom was for nothing, but it is a reminder that I need to look at how I behave in the workplace. Maybe it’s a better practice to be more guarded and distant at work/school and let my colors and creativity and sense of humor come out more outside of the school/work setting.  I will focus on being a professional in the school setting because it’s a professional setting, but this doesn’t limit who I can safely and comfortably be outside of that setting.

Enter dual or multiple lingualism— the idea that we have one way of speaking and behaving in a professional or academic environment and a separate but equally valid way of being outside of that setting. Dave Chappelle says that Black people are bilingual in this regard. They have one way of speaking around other black people and a separate way of speaking in a professional or academic environment. And this seems to be a good standard for me to live to. Just like it would be inappropriate for me to bring my professional demeanor to a casual encounter with family or friends, it would be equally inappropriate to bring that casualness and way of comporting myself to the workplace or professional setting. By this logic, there’s in theory nothing wrong with my sense of humor, it just wasn’t appropriate for the workplace and certainly not in text or email where that type of picture can resurface without proper context to explain it.

How I'm investing, even though the sky is falling

It’s a scary time right now, that’s for sure.  There’s a new presidency coming in that is threatening to shake things up.  They’re threatening to cut 70% of the government’s workforce or something crazy like that.  Elon Musk is talking about cutting jobs at the FBI and other governmental organizations.  Meanwhile, the country is divided– with half the country rooting for change and the other half hiding under their desks.  In addition to all this, there’s a brewing class war with the Luigi assassination of Brian Thompson, CEO of a big insurance company.  A growing number of people are assembling on the internet that are praising him as a modern day hero.  People are calling for him to not be prosecuted because this murder was some form of a justified killing.  It just feels like a spark is all it would take to ignite this into some sort of overthrow or crumbling of our country. 

It’s a weird time.  And I’m sitting here, in my little corner of the world, trying to keep my head down, work hard, put money away and invest intelligently in the market to grow my wealth and I can’t help but think, fuckin’ shit!  This is a crazy time to be investing, there’s so much insecurity, the whole government is on the verge of collapse, we could go to war with Russia or China or some country in the middle east at any second. Our national debt is a number I don’t even know how to write in numbers, it’s inconceivable and poised only to grow in the coming years. it’s a whirlwind and who the fuck would invest at a time like this?! 

But at the same time, we’re in the middle of a technological revolution, the likes of which the world has never seen, they’re using tech to develop new tech, they’re using AI to develop new AI, it’s exponential growth.  No scratch that, it’s exponential explosion and sitting on the sidelines would be sitting out on the biggest investment opportunity in history.  

But then again, that type of greed and gimme gimme gimme, that sort of FOMO and tossing money around with no, know how and still making money, it’s like they say, everyone is a genius in a bull market.  Look back at the dot com boom though, cash was free flowing and millionaires were minted daily and overnight.  And if you were investing during that time, it was an elevator that only went up, or so it seemed, but just take a little stroll through the dot com cemetery– remember Dogpile.com and Myspace.com and Askjeeves.com?  Exactly and if you were investing at that time, unless you had some sort of a crystal ball, you lost your ass!  And the greed in this market rivals the dotcom greed save for one detail– we have social media now dividing the country into red shirts and blue shirts with a thirst for blood from the other team.  “Did you know that in Florida they’re actually…?”  “Can you believe California just passed…?”  It’s the best and worst time in history at the same time and who the hell can figure out what the intelligent course of action is?

Amidst all this pros and cons of it all, when I’m trying to find my way through the noise and make sense of what sort of steps I should make as an aspiring cool, collected, disciplined and agnostic investor I have two concepts I can’t help but think about.  1.) The lindy effect.  The lindy effect is basically the idea that the longer something is in existence, the more likely it is to continue to exist.  This country has been doing business for a long time and while past success is not a guarantee of future results, it is an indicator that history is at least somewhat likely to repeat itself.  

And 2. chicken little syndrome.  This is the idea that fear mongering can illicit a response from others that the sky is falling, when in fact it isn’t.  If I can resist the temptation to panic while everyone is running away from the impending doom, I can make really sound decisions and even capitalize on the irrationality of the market.  And looking back, every generation seems to think that their generation is the one that will be “lucky” enough to see the fall of civilization.  Generation after generation has said that social security is going to run out, that medicare will fall apart, that the dollar will collapse, that world wars will blow up the planet, and yet, if they just calmly kept their money tucked away incubating in the market, they’d be very happy with the result.  

So that’s my plan– put my gas mask on, walk back into the burning building and just keep dollar cost averaging and tucking my hard earned US dollars away, invested in the US economy.  

And, if I’m wrong and the dollar does collapse or the US economy does implode, well then I’ll be waiting in line for bread with everyone else.  

The pushback to the intoxicating allure of the cell phone

For as long as my siblings and I have been living on our own, going up to visit my parents in rural Northern California, meant my two brothers and me sitting around in the living room, swapping stories with each other and with my parents. But once my mom retired, she discovered her phone. So we were a man down in our visits— it’d be my brothers, my dad, and me all visiting while my mom scrolled through her phone. We would even tease her about being addicted to her phone, but she’d rationalise and justify, but ultimately, we were down a man.

And he held out for years, but the two of them being retired together, eventually my dad fell victim too— quiet lonely days being the only partner not scrolling, he eventually found his way to death scrolling through Facebook. I remember a few years ago when I had a hard time talking to my dad on a visit because he was so buried in his phone.  I teased him saying, “Hey, are you picking up some bad habits from Mom over there.”  To my surprise, he put his phone right down and said, “Yeah, I guess so.”  Then he gave me his full undivided attention.  Nice job Dad.  Commendable!  That shit is no joke.  Dad resisted for a long time, but that pesky and patient algorithm hooked him with custom curated content designed just for him and like the rest of us, he’s hooked. 

It’s easy to judge them, but the worst part is it feels so good to be hooked—it’s all things we’re interested in.  I’m no better. I noticed yesterday that while I had to have youtube on while I sat on the toilet, it was not enough stimulation for me (just like when one cup of coffee leads to two or three, one glass of wine leads to two or three) so I left youtube in the background while I played a game in the foreground. So I ticked away at solitaire while I listened at the same time.  At a certain point, (probably around the time my legs started falling asleep) I noticed I wasn’t really even listening to the youtube thing that was supposedly SO interesting to me, that I just couldn’t miss or save for later.  I gave it my attention, my watch time, and I was only half present, but I couldn’t tell you what it was about.  I think more than anything, I just felt like I wasn’t alone. 

But the truth is, I was more alone after watching that. I would have been less alone if I hadn’t locked myself in the bathroom for twenty minutes and consumed media, I would have been less alone had I just listened to the gradual refilling of the toilet and noticed the small leak in the plunger in the back, or if I had listened to the traffic outside or the sounds of the wind blowing through the trees or even the murmurs of my parents and siblings talking out in the living room, or if I had just noticed what the shag rug under my toes felt like or took note of the grime in the sink next to me.  Being present in that way makes being alone bearable.

The allure of media is that it’s like hitting the pause button on the crushing nature of existence. Media is a listening ear, a warm friend, that actually makes me feel better. But the trap of it is that this friend isn’t healing. It’s a great listener and it does actually pause my loneliness, but only while I’m engaged with media. If I ever pick my head up to look around in the real world, the pain, loneliness and isolation is right where I left it. So it’s tempting to put my head back down underwater or in this case, back in my phone. But unfortunately, immersing myself in my phone only makes me want to further immerse myself in my phone.

But the treatment for phone addiction is being present. Just noticing my environment is a way of connecting and healing from the pain that I am (and we all are) unavoidably alone. I read in the book The Artist’s Way by Julia Cameron, that sometimes the future is so crushing that it can be crushing and the past is so painful that it’s too painful, but the present, no matter how crushing or painful the past or future may be, the present is always bearable and being present is immensely healing. But when it comes to the phone, it hijacks our present moments.

I can’t help but think about this in terms of time, since when we choose to give our attention to something, the currency pay with is called time. There’s a weird concept I’ve learned from meditation about the false importance we apply to some blocks of time versus others. In theory, the time I have today is no more important than my final moments being alive, but the way that I choose to spend my time today versus the way I would spend it in my final moments are radically different. If the angel of death whispered in my ear that these are my last ten minutes, I think (or at least I hope) that I wouldn’t say in response, “Well hand me my phone.” If I was on my deathbed, with moments left to live, I hope that I would spend those final minutes savouring the smell of the room or to taking in the texture of the paint on the walls, really soaking up the sounds of my grandchildren laughing or the love I have for my family. These final moments of life I arbitrarily apply meaning to and assume that my final moments are more important, but from a cosmic standpoint or bird’s eye view, there’s no difference in the value of those final moments than the current moments I have right in front of me. The beauty of this realization is that I don’t have to wait until Death whispers in my ear to draw this distinction between my current time and my final moments of time.

So when I think about the intoxicating pull of my phone to hit the pause button on my existence, my push back is to remind myself that these moments are no better or worse than my final moments. Is this how I want to spend my final moments and if not, is this how I want to spend my current moments. It’s a difficult battle to win, especially when countless dollars are spent to capture my attention to sell to the highest bidder. But the most effective pushback that I’ve found for myself is to just simply notice my environment. It sounds woo woo and out there, but when I’m present, it’s engaging my conscious brain and with that consciousness, I have more option to say yay or nay to the allure of my cell phone and the unhealthy break it gives me from existing.

How many times have I sat down to eat food I prepared and just started eating, it’s at these times that I’m most likely to pull out my phone and watch something. My pushback if I’m eating food, is to not only take inventory of my gratitude for the food, but to also notice the taste instead of just eating it and even to notice the sounds the food make in my my mouth as I chew it. With this level of awareness, I, whatever I is, is more available to make a choice about if I want to watch something as opposed to just by default flowing down river into watching something. I started this by talking about my parents and their cell phone addiction. It’s much easier to see it on someone else. But ultimately, the only control I have is with myself, and arguably, I don’t always seem to have control over myself. But in my highest thinking self, I would draw no distinction between these moments now and my final moments on this Earth and given these to be my final moments, I do my best to stay present and savour these moments instead of whispering back to Death, “Can you hand me my phone please?”

A ride on a dragon, writing what I see

This is an exercise in putting something out— it’s not perfect, it’s from a musing of mine from August 11, 2021. It’s not a particularly special piece of writing, but it’s part of my commitment to make a new post every day. This writing was an effort to place myself in a world and just write what I saw in that world:

I’m a dragon.  No no no, I’m riding on a dragon.  No no no, I can feel the scales of the dragon underneath my fingertips.  I’m careful not to scratch or claw, because I can feel that the skin is sensitive.  It wrinkles if you grab for too much of it at a time.  It’s so big and it’s actually warm to the touch.  Firm muscle underneath loose skin.  The scales feel just like an iguana’s skin.  Warm, loose around firm muscle.  It’s amazing to grab hold and just hang on without it fighting or wrestling to get me off.  It feels like an actual connection.  It knows I’m on it’s back and yet it still continues soaring through the air with no intentions of knocking me off.  I grab big handfuls of skin on either side as handholds. 

Am I really loving writing lately?  Not really to be honest.  It’s still a real high to go to those weird places though—like riding on the back of a dragon—that’s pretty fucking cool.  To feel that loose skin and the dryness of it’s back, to feel the texture and know inside and out what it would feel like to ride on the back of a dragon.  To feel as it walks and feel the shoulder joints and the muscles tense up under the weight of my body.  To feel the warmth of the dragon and to be able to describe the side to side motion as it drags that big tale behind it.  And to be able to put my ear to it’s ribs and actually be able to hear the heartbeat.  That’s pretty special.  To see the looks on people’s faces as I stroll by them on the back of a dragon.  It’s pretty amazing to ACTUALLY go there and be there.  To look back and see the tracks left behind.  That is actually legitimately special to be able to do that.  I could name it or give it color, I could select a height and a time period and foes and time of day, sounds from around town, if it was country side or urban, what the people around town are wearing, what the townsfolk think of it all, do they get along with the dragon are they surprised or is this normal to see me on the back of a dragon.  It’s still pretty special. 

Stephen king suggested in his book “On Writing” that writing is the only known form of telepathy. That if you the reader were to imagine a white rabbit with a black square spray painted on its back and that square was filled in with the color purple and inside that square was the number ‘8’ painted in black, you would be seeing a similar rabbit to the one in his mind. Now he argued that of course your rabbit may be bigger or smaller, the ears may be floppy or pointing straight up, maybe the fur is shaggy or short, and so on, but largely the rabbit has been transported largely intact from the writer’s brain to the reader’s brain. And this process he called the only known form of telepathy— writing. Our job as a writer is to go into our mind’s eye and describe the world that we see. The more of the rabbit we’re able to transport from our mind’s eyes to our reader’s brain, the better the writer we are. So my dragon was my selfish description of what I saw that day.

First class, What?!

As I lay here on my business class flight to Japan, digesting my 2 mimosas, ahi tuna appetizer, Thai coconut chicken that i ordered off a menu, my ice cream sundae AND cheese cake (because I just could decide between the two) I realize…

….it’s really hard to write laying completely flat. Yeah, my seat lays completely flat at the press of a button. Ok, I’m done rubbing it in.

I started Before You Die Guy to help show that there is nothing special about me that affords me an opportunity to travel more than others—in other words, if I can do it, anyone can do it. But on this flight I’ve been overwhelmed with the feeling of “Wow, not everyone can do this and I am SO lucky to be able to.” So here is the story of an economy traveler who weaseled his way into the comfortable lap of luxury without spending $5,000 for this flight (like the guy next to me). This is a firsthand account of the forbidden bathrooms and the free flowing champagne that lurks behind the us and them curtain on commercial flights.

I keep feeling like I’m going to get sent to the back of the plane where I belong, but I actually get to be up here because of a standby ticket. I have an uncle who flew as a pilot for United Airlines for 25 years. You could make the case that he has earned a lifetime of dirt cheap worldwide travel in premiere cabins, but I haven’t earned that. My uncle just likes me. And he trusts me enough not to abuse the privilege.

Flying standby has rules—there’s a strict dress code for standby travelers. Men have to wear a collared shirt, slacks, dress shoes. Women have a dress code too. I once saw a very elegantly dressed woman flying standby from Hawaii and she was refused boarding for wearing open toed sandals. And you can’t change into something more comfy when you get on the flight. Try a maneuver like that and they can strip the employee of their benefits! The idea is, they don’t want someone that just paid $4,000 bucks to have to sit next to some degenerate hobo like me that scored some cheap tickets. So I think of the dress code as a disguise—of course, I think the person next to me may have figured me out because he took one look at me and raised the partition between our seats. But the point is, they want you to at least dress like you belong in first class.

As a standby passenger, you have the lowest status, meaning everyone gets on before you and they only assign you a seat if there is space available on the flight. So it can be a really stressful way to travel. Employees actually have access to see how may seats are available in each cabin to give a decent idea of if you’ll get on or not. The worst I ever had was 3 full days hanging out in the airport before finally getting on. As my aunt says, “It’s the price you pay, for the price you pay.” And in my case, for my first class ticket to Japan, that price was $33 round trip. I spent more than that just getting to the airport. So there’s a reason people are willing to put up with the rules!

Every time I go to the bathroom, I can’t stop laughing—like I can’t believe that I’m actually experiencing this! 1st off, I’m used to boarding the plane then taking off immediately after, that’s because I’m always in boarding group 6 or group E, but when you board in 1st class, it feels like mechanical problems on the plane or something because it takes like 30 minutes to actually board everyone and 1st class boards first. But that time flies since champagne and Bloody Mary’s are tray passed immediately. There was a little gift waiting on my seat full of travel essentials like lotions, eye mask, and slippers. The stewardess sought me out by name to take my menu order. It doesn’t take much pampering to believe you’re actually deserving of the royal treatment, which is why I had to constantly put my feet on the floor to check back into reality.

Lunch was insane, a beautifully presented seared ahi tuna with a fresh Asian salad, followed by an udon noodle with lime coconut chicken that was so good! Mind you all of this is served on a tray with a real plate, metal cutlery, real salt and pepper shaker.

I was still wiping my mouth from my last bite of noodles when they came by with an ice cream sundae desert cart full of fudge sauce, caramel, cherries, whipped cream- the works. And in case a calorie mountain of fat and sugar doesn’t satisfy, they also have an assortment of cakes, tarts, fruits, and cheeses. I had the cheesecake, which was probably excessive, but it paired so nicely with my port wine.

It’s silly that such every day ordinary things like eating off a plate, with a metal fork, and having a cup of ice cream after a meal are so special when you’re flying, but all it takes is one peak out from this side of the curtain at the tired, cramped, middle seaters in the back on the same 11 hour flight as me to know, Yup, I’m pretty lucky to be up here.

Three Falls Is Closed

One of the first entries I put up on my blog was an entry called Waterfalls, Cliff Jumping, and Natural Waterslides, about a really special set of waterfalls called 3 falls. It has two waterfalls you can jump off of, a rope swing, and a thirty foot natural water slide.  When I first started writing here, I wanted to give the best of what I had to give and this was one of the most special places I grew up with as a kid, so I shared it. My brother told me, “Ryan please don’t share that place with people.  It’s a really cool place and I just don’t want the whole world to find about it.  That just would suck.”  

I scoffed at that, “Aaron, trust me, nobody reads my stuff, I don’t even have an audience.”  Well apparently, someone did read what I wrote and they bought the waterfalls that I grew up frequenting.  The new owners emailed me to let me know that the falls were now private property. 

I recently got an email through my website from someone that went to Three Falls and found rows of barbed wire fence and multiple No Trespassing signs.  So it seems this special spot is now someone else’s special spot.  Luckily, there are other special spots around that area that I haven’t written about, so feel free to message me privately if you’re ever going into this area and looking for some unique spots worth checking out that are still open to the public.

On the one hand, locals were ruining the area—beer cans and broken glass in the bushes, someone painted a big mural against the natural rock backdrop that said, “Summer 2015,” but it’s pretty sad to see it go away to the public. Still trying to decide if it’s better to keep a place public and let crowds ruin it or keep it private, but not let anyone see it. What are your thoughts?

8 Ways to Become Rich and Famous That Are So Stupid, They Might Actually Work

1. Sleep with one of Snoop Dogg’s Cousins

Kim Kardashian made a sex tape with Snoop Dogg’s first cousin—boom—famous.  She didn’t even have to sleep with Snoop himself, just the cousin of Snoop and boom, famous now.  You probably wouldn’t even have to sleep with them either, you could just do some sort of creative collaboration with one of them...(Or you could just sleep with them.)

2. Get Married to Warren Buffett

Have you been buttering your own toast like a sucker?  Marry Warren Buffet, you can hire people for that.  Tired of chewing your own food?  Wiping your own ass?  The sky’s the limit, plus, Warren Buffet was in a weird three way marriage for years, so he's likely open to expanding his love triangle into a “love cube.”  

3. Start Your Own Lottery

Let all the starry eyed suckers compete for the big prize money, while you siphon a small “management fee” for your troubles.  Just don’t forget to do like the official lottery does and donate a small percentage of your management fee to children’s charities—after all, the lottery is for the children.  

4.

God looks favorably upon he who giveth of their paycheck unto the church.  Churches are tax exempt and the south has been begging for more religion in this country.  Make America great again (but do it in the south though).  

5.

It's not your fault the white house steps were
-poorly lit
-had a faulty hand railing
-were coated in cooking grease 

$$$  Take your pick, then cash in    $$$  

6. Invent a Potion that Makes You Fly, Then Sell that Potion

Trust me, if you invent a human flight potion, people will buy it.  You’d be an overnight millionaire for sure.  

7. Sell Dick Enlargement Pills

Same sales strategy as the human flight potion, except it doesn’t even have to work for people to buy it!

 

8. Purchase the Rights to Before You Die Guy

A guaranteed success!  Love all the great content we’re producing- the sporadic posting schedule, the low budget lighting and effects—this could all be yours!  Send us a blank check and sit back, whilst the money rolls in!  

This could all be yours!

6 Shooting Ranges in the U.S. That Will Make You Both Proud and Terrified to be an American.

In the U.S. we have just over 1,000 community colleges, about 2,500 four year universities and well over 15,000 indoor shooting ranges (not counting outdoor ranges).  Even California, home of the hippy, has over 200 ranges to choose from.  With that many ranges out there, we sought out to build a short list of some of the most extreme ranges in the country, so without further ado...

6 Shooting Ranges in the U.S. That Will Make You Both Proud and Terrified to be an American.

Colonial Shooting Academy in Richmond Virginia

First off, watch this :30 clip.  

Colonial Shooting Academy's Tactical Range is open to the public in Richmond, VA, during specified, seasonal hours. To inquire about how you can participate call (804)266-AMMOx114.

Ok, and now I’m not going to be able to sleep tonight, my heart is beating out of my chest.  Colonial Shooting Academy has the largest indoor shooting range in the country (60,000 square feet).  It’s a state of the art shooting facility for all skill levels.  It’s no wonder it was named Range of the Year AND World's Greatest Gun Range by the National Shooting Sports Foundation.  

The Knob Creek Gun Range in West Point Kentucky

The world famous Knob Creek Machine Gun Shoot NIGHT SHOOT Oct 2017 in West Point, Kentucky.

The Knob Creek Gun Range in Kentucky easily makes this list.  It was originally a munitions test site for the military and is now open to the public.  Their biggest claim to fame is they host the largest machine gun shoot and military gun show in the world.  The highlight of the gun shoot—check this out, they fill barrels of of fuel and charge them with pyrotechnic charges and let people shoot them  to blow ‘em up.  If you’re thinking about hopping in on this fun, sign up now because the waiting list is a couple years long to actual get a shooting lane!  
 

Sand & Sage Rifle and Pistol Club

Are you tired of your 2nd amendment rights being limited to normal business hours?  Well tire no more, at the Sand & Sage Rifle and Pistol Club, you can fire off rounds 24/7.  Finally a gun range that understands that American gun rights never sleep!  For a modest 75 bucks a year, you’ll get full access, plus invites to various shooting events like cowboy action shoots and timed speed and accuracy shoots. 

Outback Park and Public Shooting Range in McPherson, Kansas

Are you itching to shoot a gatling gun, a tommy gun and a grenade launcher all at an exploding target?  We thought you might.  That’s why we included the Outback Park and Public Shooting Range in McPherson, Kansas on this list.  It’s diverse range of super powerful and in most places, super illegal weaponry, make this range a ludicrous interpretation of the American right to bare arms.  Only in Kansas and only in Amirrrica!  

The Athena Gun Club in Houston, Texas

From first time shooters to law enforcement professionals who are looking for a cost-effective method to train on a dynamic and realistic system, Athena Gun Club offers the experience of a virtual simulator.

This place has a realistic shooter simulator where they simulate high stress decision making situations and give you a gun to help you make your decisions.  It’s not a real gun and it is a simulation, but, well, check out the video and see for yourself.
They’re also five-star rated from the National Shooting Sports Foundation (NSSF) and they have a huge assortment of guns to shoot in their indoor range, but who cares.  It’s the simulator that has us drooling, with realistic scenarios like burglar break ins, hostage shoot outs, even western standoffs.  So in short, yes, please, immediately we want to do this.  

TNT Guns and Range in Murray, UT
Finally there is something in Utah besides the Great Salt Lake- it’s the nations first indoor clay pigeon shooting range.  It’s state of the art electronic system lets you shoot clay pigeons indoors, with a freaking shotgun.  Now that might not seem so impressive, but shotguns send out a powerful spray of bb’s making it very dangerous and difficult to safely shoot indoors.  But they’ve figured a way, plus they’ve combined technology and guns to create a futuristic experience where you digitally program the clay pigeons and it electronically sends the targets flying for you to shoot.  Bonus: they also have a virtual simulator like the Athena Gun Club, but there’s is 300 degrees!  Wow-ee, so many gun options to check out!  

Tell us what you think?!  Does this make you want to go to the range or make you want to apply for a European passport?  Give us your thoughts!  Want to write, or edit, or intern?!  Let us know about that too!